That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
