it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize