He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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