Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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