How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
