STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
