We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
