This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
