we're blogging at a bar
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
