my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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