i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
