he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
