There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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