She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
