Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
