1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
