How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize