Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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