i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
