just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
