standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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