Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
