my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
