imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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