Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
