Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
