At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
