Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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