just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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