He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We are two peas in an std pod
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
