I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
