she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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