Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
