Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
