I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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