I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
