covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
