Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize