What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
