Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
