I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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