Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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