Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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