I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
