Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
