# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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