girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
