Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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