Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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