so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
