Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
