why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
