My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I love you.
Bad choice
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
