glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
