I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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