how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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