How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize