I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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