Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
