Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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