The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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