Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
