Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
