wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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