so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize