She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize