they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
