i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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