It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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