He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize