just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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