the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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